Tuesday, December 28, 2010


"For unto us a Child is born, Unto us a Son is given,
And the government will be upon His
And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Might God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the increase of HIS government and
There will be no end.
Upon the throne of David and over His
To order it and establish it with judgment
  and justice
From that time forward, even forever.
The zeal of the LORD of hosts will perform this. "
~ Isa. 9:6-7

"I was watching in the night visions,
And behold, One like the Son of Man,
Coming with the clouds of heaven!
he came to the Ancient of Days,
And they brought Him near before Him.
Then to Him was given dominion and
glory and a kingdom,
That all peoples, nations, and languages
should serve Him.
His dominion is an everlasting dominion,
Which shall not pass away,
And His kingdom the one
Which shall not be destroyed."
~ Daniel 7:13-14

"Now I saw heaven opened, and behold, a
white horse. And He who sat on him was called
Faithful and True, and in righteousness He
judges and makes war.
His eyes were like a flame of fire, and on
His head were many crowns.  He had a name
written that no one knew except Himself.
He was clothed with a robe dipped in
blood, and His name is called The Word of God,
And the armies in heaven, clothed in fine
linen, white and clean, followed Him on white
Now out of His mouth goes a sharp sword,
that with it He should strike the nations. And
He Himself will rule them with a rod of iron. He
Himself treads the winepress of the fierceness
and wrath of Almighty God.
And He has on His robe and on His thigh
a name written:
         KING OF KINGS
~ Revelation 19:11-16

I am just throwing these verses out there and sharing a bit of a journey that I am starting on. I don't have a lot to say about these verses right now, there is a lot of context that I have pulled these verses out of, but as I meditate on the verses from Isa. 9, these other ones come to mind.  Usually when I think of Jesus' zeal or the zeal of the Father, I think of their love, which is a wonderful and I think a much needed understanding as I look at this other aspect of God's zeal.  He has been been starting to speak to me about His zeal to establish His government/His kingdom fully upon this earth.  My ears are starting to tune in as I read through scripture and I am asking for a deep understanding of this as I read and pray.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

"Maybe something a little bit more..."

It is the Christmas season and already I have almost hit my party limit and am yet again behind on my Christmas shopping.  Along with all of that though I have been thinking a lot about Christmas and why I like it so much.  It has always been a stressful time of year and not always the easiest holiday to get through.  But even with that I have always loved it's coming and have always watched it's going with a sad longing, hoping it could stay, almost feeling like I just missed something significant.  

I remember when I was little, Christmas always felt huge to me. I don't how to explain it other than to say there always seemed to be more to it than the presents, concerts, Mass, and meals. Maybe that is why I always liked that line in the Dr. Seuss story.  But I always felt there was even more to it than sharing time with family and being kind to people. I always felt overwhelmed and that there was something bigger than what I could see going on.  I had fun with the whole Santa thing but even that didn't seem to fully answer that feeling of something wonderful is happening.

I can't honestly say I remember a lot of the gifts I received when I was a kid.  I mostly remember family gatherings with lots of food.  I remember loving all the Christmas specials that came on TV. I was so excited when the tree was finally put up and I loved above all Christmas carols.  I didn't like the goofy ones like "Frosty the snowman", or "Rudolph", I always liked the serious sounding ones, even though I didn't understand what they were about.  I just remember that they created a sense of wonder in me.

I was always fascinated with the nativity scene that came out every Christmas, but the only time I ever heard anything that had to do with the first coming of Jesus was if it was in Christmas Carol that was being played or if I was awake enough to listen to the Priest during Midnight Mass at the Cathedral (I usually fell asleep though).

Even though I didn't understand it then, I see now that the longing that was in my heart, the thing I kept feeling was just outside of my grasp, was a longing for Christ. He was drawing me to Himself,  He was (is) the something more. In all honesty I don't really like the catch phrase "Jesus is the reason for the season" and I think it is because I have heard it too many times in a mocking tongue in cheek way.

In reality, it is Jesus we are to be worshiping during this time.  It is Jesus' first coming that we should be meditating on.  It is a deeper understanding of who God is and what would cause Him to come in the form of a baby and allow Himself to be so accessible to us that we should be asking for.  We should be giving thanks. We should have a sense of awe and wonder. And yes, I am including myself in that royal "we".

I need a deeper revelation of Christ's first coming so that I can truly long for His second coming.  If I fall in love with Jesus, God incarnate, then of course I will wait and long for Him to return.  I want to be like the wise men, who weren't even Jewish, but had read the prophesies and believed that what was in scripture was true. Something had grasped their hearts and it caused them to watch and wait.  They were rewarded for their waiting. They saw the sign that said the Messiah had come, they believed again and followed that star for two years until they found Him. I can't imagine what it would have been like for them to leave their home country, their family and friends and follow a star only to come to the feet of a child from a poor family and worship Him as King. This time though He is not coming as a helpless baby but is coming as a triumphant King, ready to take His throne.  I am want to long and wait for that day, to see the signs of His coming and understand them for what they really are. 

I love it, I really do.  I love that this is more than a fairytale.  I love that this is reality.  That God really was borne of a virgin; He really did grow up as a baby, toddler, child, teenager and man. He really did have a family, He lived in humbleness and obscurity for 30 years to learn the way of love and obedience to God the Father.  He really did pray and listen for His Father's leading by the Holy Spirit and then stepped out to heal the sick, cast out demons, care for the widow, the orphan, the prostitute, the sinner. He called them all to turn to His Father.  He really did call the religious leaders to turn back to the Father, warning them that they had gone astray.  It is true that after 3 years He gave His life up to death as a sacrifice on a cross so that He could make a way for us to come to the Father. Through His death and resurrection He broke the power of sin and death, for real.  He really is the image of the invisible God. If we want to know what God the Father is like we just need to look to Jesus. He really did promise to return and He really will fulfill that promise.

That is what I want to be fascinated with, that is what I want to celebrate at Christmas.  I want to praise and thank Jesus for His first coming as I looking with hopeful longing and heart full of love for His second.  This is what I want my reality to be.

Friday, November 12, 2010


There is another season change on it's way, probably the hardest one for me because I really don't like being cold.  SO, to help me prepare for this change I have decided to post some of my favorite things about winter so that I can start off with a positive attitude!  Here's to enjoying winter AND really looking forward to Christmas!

Yes, even though I don't like the cold, I like snow. 

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Follow Me.

I have come to the realization that more often then not when I pray and ask for direction for my life, I want a Google Map.  I want to be able to plug in point A and point B and then be given a map that shows me my 3 options of how to make my journey and the time frame of each trip so I can make the best possible choice.  

In coming to this realization, I am finally coming to peace with the fact that this isn't necessarily how Jesus operates, instead of fighting against Him.  Most of the time, when I ask for direction He just says "Follow Me." 

Now I know He has giving us the big point A (creation and the garden of Eden) and the ultimate final point B (He coming back to the earth and establishing His Kingdom), both of which are fantastic and I am waiting for that final point B. He has even given us a road map to follow for those two (or at least sign posts).  I also know that sometimes He does show us where He is leading us (people who know they are called to missions or a certain job, or to be a mom or a dad) but He doesn't always share how we are going to get there or how long it will take.  It seems that in the day to day living our lives, in our personal pursuit of learning to love God, to love others, to walk out our callings; He just says, "Follow Me".

I have noticed this through out the Bible lately.  God told Abraham to leave his family and come follow Him and didn't even tell Abraham where he was going. Abraham got those pieces along the way.  Same thing with Moses. He just got the command to, "lead the people out of Egypt to the land I promised your forefathers." I think I can hazzard a guess and say Moses would have had some knowledge of a map since he grew up in the Egyptian court, but neither he nor any of  the Israelites that he led had ever seen the land they were being taken to. It was a promise passed down through generations, almost a dream, by the time God said it was time to move.  David was told he would be king, but had no idea when or how that would happen. Samuel was told by God to go and anoint kings but he was not told who the person actually was until the very last moment.  Jesus did the same thing with His disciples, "Come follow Me."  

I have noticed to in all these stories that it takes humility, faith and trust to say," I will follow, I won't lead, I will just follow." 

Thankfully, Jesus doesn't leave us alone in all of this. He doesn't just say, follow me and then does a disapearing act.  He promises to be with us through it all. He promises that His presence will go with us.  

I have never had this truth seem as real to me as a couple of weeks ago when we at SHOP had our first Sunday in our new location.  None of us had ever been in the building before, some of us had never been to that area of the city before.  It had new smells, new issues with sound and set up for our worship teams.  It was distracting to be in a completely new environment and learn where everything was.  And, we still aren't 100% sure how long we will be there before we are told it is time to move on to the next place.  It is full on transition and learning to follow Holy Spirit's leading, not just as an individual but as group of people.

In all of that I felt that Jesus was reminding me that we said we would follow Him where ever He would lead us. In fact my worship team sang that for almost 20min. the previous week.  As I submitted again and said, OK, I will just follow, where ever you lead, how ever you lead, I felt His presence around me.  It felt the same as it had at times in Kings (our previous home), it felt the same as it had at times in Korea, at IHOP, at home in Brandon.  It was such a sweet and steadying reminder of how He as already led me at different times and a promise of how He will continue to lead.

To be reminded of how He has led in the past so I can trust Him again for the future and to leave the future with Him.  It left me excited again for what is next.  I am excited to see where He will lead SHOP in this next season.  Not just in the physical sense, but also in a spiritual sense.  I feel like there is an invitation to a deeper conversation with God. To know and understand Him at a deeper level then we do right now.  We just have to take the steps He shows us, and to trust Him to get us there.

Saturday, September 11, 2010


I know it has been cool and rainy the last couple of days and almost looked like it could snow, but I really like this season. I like the smell (harvest, bonfires, new school supplies, leaves), being able to pull out my sweaters and vests, how things seem to slow down, the changing of colours.

One of my favorite memories of autumn is getting together with a bunch of my family on my Auntie Lindee and Uncle Norman's farm to haul and cut wood for my grandparent's wood burning stove. It was a lot of work but it was a great time to get together with cousins.  After all the work was done there would always be a huge feast and a game of soccer.

In celebration of the new season, here is a John Keats poem for you all to enjoy!

To Autumn

Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness,
Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun;
Conspiring with him how to load and bless
With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eaves run;
To bend with apples the moss'd cottage - trees,
And fill all fruit with ripeness to the core;
To swell the gourd, and plump the hazel shells
With a sweet kernel; to set budding more,
And still more, later flowers for the bees,
Until they think warm days will never cease,
For Summer has o'er-brimm'd their clammy cells.

Who hath not seen thee oft amid thy store?
Sometimes whoever seeks abroad may find
Thee sitting careless on a granary floor,
Thy hair soft-lifted by the winnowing wind;
Or on a half-reap'd furrow sound asleep,
Drowsed with the fume of poppies, while
thy hook
Spares the next swath and all its twined flowers:
And sometimes like a gleaner thou dost keep
Steady thy laden head across a brook;
Or by a cider-press, with patient look,
Thou watchest the last oozings, hours by hours.

Where are the songs of Spring?  Ay, where
are they?
Think not of them, thou hast thy music too, -
While barred clouds bloom the soft-dying day,
And touch the stubble-plains with rosy hue;
Then in a wailful choir the small gnats mourn
Among the river sallows, borne aloft
Or sinking as the light wind lives or dies;
And full-grown lambs loud bleat from
hilly bourn;
Hedge-crickets sing; and now with treble soft
The redbreast whistles from a garden-croft,
And gathering swallows twitter in the skies.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010


A few weeks ago at SHOP I had asked God to reveal something of Himself to me.  I asked Him to give me revelation of part of His heart. I didn't choose the part. I didn't say or ask, "Show me your__________" and you can fill in the blanks. I just asked Him what He would like to reveal to me, then I waited.  

I don't know why, but, I was a little surprised at what I heard.  What I felt He was saying was, "I-Am-the-God-who-makes-friends-of-my-enemies."  It was just a simple, quiet declaration.  I had to think on it a moment.  It is a bit of an awkward statement.  It's meaning was almost missed.  Then I realized that this was a statement of God's heart for reconciliation.  It was a declaration of His ability to create relationship where none exists. It was a reminder of the lengths God has gone to, to claim the ones He loves. To bring about the relationship He desires, not because He is needy but because He is a God of Love.  

God does  not have a bad case of "keep your friends close and your enemies closer". God is One who is holy and righteous and has chosen to set His affections on sinful, weak and broken humans.  He has so set His affections on us that He sent His son Jesus to be beaten beyond recognition, nailed to a cross, put in a grave for three days and then triumphantly raised Him from the dead and promise His return to us.

All of this to win the love of a sinful human who 17 years ago, when the Holy Spirit first pierced my heart with this revelation, didn't give Him a second thought. And if I did, it was to curse His name or make a joke. But He won me, He caused me to turn. He took something from nothing and created a relationship.  He took unrepentant heart and caused it to bow before Him. When I should have received hell and death, He gave me Love and life everlasting; Jesus gave me Himself. He reconciled me unto Himself and has continued to refine, purify and grow that relationship.  I use to be His enemy, but He has made me His friend.       


Friday, July 16, 2010


Well, I can finally say I am moved! All I have to do is go back to my old apartment pick up any mail that might be there, do the walk through with the landlady and turn in my keys.

It has been a long month and a half trying to sublet that apartment. I don't ever remember a move that was so hard. But, in the end it has all worked out.

God can be a God of the 11Th hour at times, I find though I am more of a 1st or 2Nd hour type person. I like things to work out right away and when they don't or seem like they won't, I find it very stretching. It all comes down to that simple question of, "Do I trust you?" Do I trust God to provide for me, to make a way where there seems to be no way. It might seem simple but that is what it boils down too. It was very difficult at moments but I had to keep saying that He is good and His leadership is perfect.

Now, all that is left is remembering all the good things about being in that apartment. The laughter, the tears, the growing, the stretching. The roommate that I shared the apartment with is off on a wonderful adventure and I am super excited for her. I am now living with a couple of friends that I have known since NKOTB took the main stage the first time. It is a new place and a new season and I am really looking forward to it!

Wednesday, June 30, 2010


In the middle of it. Will share details later. What a bumpy ride but it is all worth it!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Bullfrogs and Butterflies

What will it look like to see the earth renewed and to hear the heavens rejoice? Right now, we are told that all creation is groaning and longing for Jesus' return. The Bible also says that when He does everything that has breath will praise the Him. I heard a sermon the other day where the person made it very clear that not everything that has breath is human and not everything that breathes, breathes oxygen (so all the deep sea creatures and plants are included). Scripture is clear EVERYTHING will praise the Lord. Now does this mean that I think my pet fish Max might all of a sudden start singing worship songs in English, NO, but it does make me wonder if C.S. Lewis was onto something with his Narnia books. And what about in Hinds Feet in High Places, where Much Afraid's ears are opened up and she can hear the hymns of the flowers, birds and river? It is fun to imagine what it will look like to see trees clap their hands. What will it sound like to hear the stars in the heavens sing? Most importantly, it makes me think of what God must really be like to take delight in the sounds of a whale singing praises to His name. The wonder that He finds pleasure in all of this. Even more fascinating is that more than hearing the rocks cry out his name, seeing the mountains and hills skip for joy, He delights in MY voice. He longs to see MY face. His joy and delight is in a weak, fragile human that came from dust, and unless the Lord returns first, will go back to dust. Amazing.