Wednesday, January 26, 2011


Today *ahem - yesterday (as it is now after midnight) was my birthday and while it might have looked somewhat uneventful, I have already had about 4 days of celebration.  My mom came to Winnipeg on the weekend. Friday we went and got pedicures, watched "The King's Speech" (which is actually really good - I don't usually pay attention to all that Oscar hype - but I did enjoy this one) and went out for supper. The rest of the weekend was way more low key and we stayed close to home but it was good to have her here for a visit.  Monday my roommates gave me flowers and birthday cards.

Last night Jules made me fabulous dinner of BBQ ribs and potato wedges for my birthday before we both had to run out the door for scheduled meetings. I also received many texts and messages via the interwebs.

I had a friend that said they hoped the year was full of surprises and I would say that is what I would like the most. Over supper, my roommates were asking the questions, "what did you like best of the past year" and "what are you hoping for/looking forward to the most this next year."  I thought of a couple of things I am hoping for right on the spot. Some I thought of after but it was kind of hard. Not because I have a pessimistic view of what this next year is going to bring but because I wasn't sure what I would want.  Again, I have a couple of ideas of what I would like to see happen, but mostly, I would just like to be surprised. I would like things that I thought would never happen, happen; whether they are big or small.  I would like the statement of this next year to be "Oh wow!" and to be in awe at what God will do.

I have to say though, I have come up to this birthday and spent today being very thankful and remembering all the good things Father has done. The blessings He has given me.  It really is good.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

A Job moment

Have you ever had one of those moments or many moments where you just know it would be bad news if you opened your mouth and let every thought that was in your head or heart come out?  One of those times where even if people think you are rude or really weird, it is just better not to say anything at all.

I feel like I am in one of those seasons. My life definitely isn't as bad as Job's, actually, on many levels it is good, but I still feel a similar testing on some different levels to different degrees as Job went through. I can feel the restlessness it causes because I want to know why things are happening or not happening and I get nervous about what will come out of my mouth if I let it run wild.  Some times my mouth gets the better of me and stuff leaks out; the nasty gross stuff that you always hope isn't really in your heart but is.  The stuff that other people might not know about you until your mouth betrays you.  The complaining, the doubt and questioning God, the grumbling and sighing that Israel got into so much trouble for during their wilderness trek...

That is what I feel like I am being tested in.  Despite certain things happening, despite certain circumstances not being exactly as I would like them, will I, like Job, put my hand over my mouth to ward against grumbling and just declare Father and Jesus and Holy Spirit to be good, right and just.

I am not talking about putting a plastic smile on my face and saying "every thing is fine". I am talking about honoring God and praising Him no matter what my circumstances are. It is a fast, slippery slope into a dark pit when I start questioning and trying to figure out why I am going through different circumstances. Once that downward slide starts happening, it is only moments before I am complaining and grumbling and find myself wondering why I can't hear God's voice.

I am also not only talking about putting on a good face when I am out in public or with groups of people but  how I speak when I am at home speaking privately with my roommates; where "no one else" will hear.  I am also speaking of my private "self talk" or times in prayer.  This beast of a tongue needs to be tamed there as well.

It is a season of learning; learning how to lean, learning how to stay quiet when I need to, learning to ask well, learning to keep my gaze focused on the One who loves me and saying, "You are good!", even when I don't understand what is going on.

The hope and joy in all of that is, that is where He will come and meet with me. Just like with Job, just like with the Israelites; the moment I stop drawing away and hardening my heart, He comes and He meets with me and strengthens me. He comes and speaks to me of His character. He reminds me of all His goodness.  He reminds me that this to will pass.  He meets me as a Friend I can learn from and talk with, a King who has the authority and power to change times and seasons and defeat all my foes, a Father I can trust, and a Lover who I know fully loves me and will never leave nor forsake me. 

So, knowing that I can put my hand over my mouth again and again and state, "You are good!" as I quiet my soul and wait for Him.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Bleak Midwinter

Well, we are headed to the middle of January which is the hardest part of winter.  It is the -40 time of the season. Here in Winnipeg we have started to hit some of the coldest days we have had all winter and it isn't as cold as it can get yet. But even still I am starting to find my good attitude about winter waning a little.  So, it is time for another list of things that I am enjoying/looking forward to in the hopes that it will help me keep a good attitude! 

* My birthday is in 16 days (hint!hint! - heehee :) )
* My roommates and I have been too busy too take down our Christmas tree so I still get to enjoy it!
* We have already had about 12 weeks of winter so that means hopefully only about 10 more. Which means Spring is almost here!
* Having my mom come to the city next week and going for pedicures!
* Laughing, lots and lots of laughing going on with my roommates and I.  Good long, hard laughs that make you cry.  I love those!
* Getting together with Alison this week!
*The set I prayer lead at SHOP...I really like digging in and seeking God with these guys and gals. 
*The snow.  I really do like snow.  Just wish I had some skates so I could learn to ice skate again. 
*My new blue boots and newsboy hat.
*Spicy hot chocolate (hot chocolate with mild chili, allspice and black pepper in it) - trust me SOOOOO good. Much better than regular hot chocolate, though I will never turn down a mug of regular hot chocolate.
*Did I mention we are are over the halfway point for winter so Spring should be coming!! :)