Thursday, August 4, 2011

Summer life

What a hot hot summer, it has been perfect.  It has been a summer of insights, adventures, having a quiet heart (or trying too), learning where to push and learning where to let go.  I am continuing to stumble and bumble my way into the world of photography which I enjoy.  I haven't been brave enough yet to "go manual"  need to do some more reading first. It has been a summer of reading, some heavy, some lite.

It is a summer of wandering. Wandering through the book of Exodus with the Israelites,  going on road trips and hikes, daydreams, prayers, wondering what is next.  That is what summer is for isn't it?  To slow down because of the heat, to enjoy the creation God has given us, to enjoy the moment He has us in and to ask what is next as the months move on and the season changes; well actually that is probably what every season is for but summer seems to accentuate it some how.

It is also a season of waiting, waiting for the veggies in the garden to be ready to harvest.  My roommate and I planted the garden late this year, so we have to wait a little longer to enjoy the vegetables that are growing.  Waiting for the heat to break though I do enjoy it at the same time. Waiting to see how and when Abba will answer my prayers. 

Some things this summer haven't changed, I am living in the same apartment with the same crazy and wonderful roommates.  I am working the same job that surprises and challenges me almost daily, whether it is the challenge of just sticking to a routine (I love variety), the challenge and surprise of how God speaks to my heart while I am there, the challenge of being present when people call with real deep heart needs; even if all I say is, "I will pass you through to this person who can talk with you" or the odd time I get to pray with them. It continues to be a place of learning to serve and to find joy in the place of serving. 

Other things that are different, I have had some great heart revelation on how God views me and it has change again how I view myself and the people around me. Even though I haven't been home to Rapid City yet this summer, the fact that this is the first year my grandma hasn't been able to plant a garden has made me a little sad.  I remember how glorious her gardens were when I was growing up.  The fun we had picking all the vegetables when it was harvest time, all the feasting and canning.  It is a reminder that she is much older now and seasons are changing. My hair is growing out, and I haven't wanted to cut it crazy short. My mama and I have had some of the best conversations we have had in a long time. I traveled to a part of Manitoba I have never been to before and had a great time with friends, talking about God and life and enjoying great big belly laughs through it all. I went to the mountains for the first time in years.  I remember always loving the "scope for imagination" there was in the mountains when I was little.  And I think it stirred me to dream again.

To ask the Lord what He has in store for fall, to ask again what is on His heart and to ask about the dreams I have in mine. Whether He put them there or I have dreamed them up on my own.  It's not a discouraged or frustrated dreaming, well at least not most of the time.  It is more of a Lord, do you remember this?  Do I still hold on to it?  Is it time?  And do you remember when?  What do you think of this?  How does this make you feel?  Most of the time it feels like a one sided conversation, but I know He is there; sometimes I hear Him say,"just hold on to that and wait a little longer".  I think He just enjoys the talking, and I am learning to enjoy it too and to not get frustrated when I don't hear the answers. 

I have been enjoying this slow, hot, good, trying, growing, stretching,  hopeful, dream filled, waiting, adventurous, summer.

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